what else worse could have happen to me?

important lesson: "no matter how well-prepared you are, or how certain you expect things to happen according to plans; there are bound to have those little stones along the way that one will trip over even without realizing what hit him..."

well, i certainly had one of those days today... looks like it's true that bad things happen one after another... won't say that i am disappointed, but i definitely whined a lot more than usually... and this incident made me realize one thing: that i am still unable to take things as easy as i like myself to...

argh... maybe i should just do whatever i want... after all, how much lower can i sink? might as well use the opportunity to do some more travelling in the remaining time that i have left...

ok, everything that can go wrong, went wrong...

norway maybe?

i'm bored... and the good warm summer weather is coming back after MIA-ing for a couple of weeks... should i go to norway?

new computer?

so, my bro is probably going to move into his new apartment after the renovations, and that means that i will have to get myself a new desktop (figured out that a new desktop's performance will way exceeds my current laptop's)... recently, for whatever reasons unknown to me, iMac seems to be really appealing... so much so that i am spending hours on the official APPLE website... shucks...

disappointment

maybe i got my hopes too high... even though i previously said that getting the job will leave me in a dilemma, securing this position will give me a big leap in my career... big conglomerate with business units all over the globe, invaluable experience in the oil and gas industry and of course, a multicultural working environment... well, nothing that i've wanted materialize for now, so it's back to the drawing board...

i so want to be happy... but why is it so hard? is the pursuit of happiness making me miserable instead?

extracted from the straits times online (15 June08)... an article from sumiko tan...

"I have been happy the past five weeks playing the role of yummy mummy to my niece and nephew visiting from the United States.
I took leave from work for three of those weeks and managed to fulfil every aspect of my motherhood fantasy.
There I was, tottering in my four-inch heels as I ushered them around town, to the malls, to the Singapore Flyer, Night Safari, Sentosa and Kallang ice-skating rink.
The kids - she's 10 and he's five - were gratifyingly cute.
('Aunty Shoes, I'm not an artist. You can't expect me to draw everything,' Josh said when I asked him if he could draw a picture of me. He prefers drawing army tanks and planes.
And when I asked him to fetch something for me, he looked at me sternly and declared: 'Aunty Shoes, this is not National Lazy Day.')
Two nights before they left, they came up with The Goodbye Show, a performance in six acts which the girl, Michiko, wrote.
Using the curtain of the balcony as a stage curtain, Act 1 had Josh starring in The Silly Show - he showed off his craziest monkey faces.
This was followed by poems about Singapore written and recited by the girl, a story about a dog they found wandering in the neighbourhood, more poems, and a song about their holiday here.
They were hilarious.
But me being a happy yummy mummy-aunty is just half the story.
The other half wasn't that pretty.
I had looked forward to their visit and had expected to be happy all those five weeks, but that wasn't to be.
There were stretches when being with the kids bored me to death, when their company made me feel plain fatigued, when I was irritated and angry with them, and when I wished I was back at work.
The first 20, 30, times they called me 'Aunty Shoes' - their nickname for me - was sweet. But when they started every sentence with it and when they kept badgering me to 'play' with them when I was busy, it got trying.
The first few times they threw a tantrum, I found that adorable and gave in to their every sulk. But when the bad behaviour was played out day after day, I had to fight the urge to scream at them.
I was both sad and relieved when they finally went home last Tuesday.
Their visit led me to several conclusions:
When a dream comes true, you don't always get the happiness you thought would come with it;
Happiness is not something you can feel every moment of the day;
Happiness comes in small doses, so just be grateful for that;
It's pointless to wish for a Big Happiness because it won't happen;
Perhaps happiness is overrated.
Like most people, everything I do, everything I hope for and everything I regret, hinges on the pursuit of personal happiness.
Wikipedia describes happiness as an emotion associated with feelings ranging from contentment and satisfaction to bliss and intense joy.
It is said that about 50 per cent of a person's happiness depends on his genes. A further 10 to 15 per cent comes from variables such as socio-economic status, marital status, health and income. The remaining reasons do not have a discernible cause.
I have certainly experienced contentment and satisfaction. I suspect I have felt bliss. I have never known intense joy.
I so yearn to be happy and I so want to be happier. The irony is that this hunger and search for happiness is perhaps the reason I often find myself unhappy.
I did a little survey recently and asked around: On a scale of one to 10 with 10 being the pinnacle of contentment, what would you rate your happiness level?
My mother gave herself an eight. My sister also said eight and added that she sometimes feels 'joy'. (Perhaps that is the privilege of being a parent; I wouldn't know.)
A friend gave herself an eight, then added wistfully that it couldn't be higher because she had done things in her life which she shouldn't have and so had to shoulder 'the burden of guilt'.
Another friend said he was an eight, but if a certain beloved person was back in his life, his rating would shoot to nine. A colleague said seven.
Me? It ranges from six to nine. It's six when I'm functioning in neutral gear and nine when everything I yearn for comes my way and life is good, scarily good.
The problem with happiness is this - it doesn't last, and it is subjected to the law of diminishing returns.
Some scientists believe that everyone has an innate happiness 'set point' to which he will invariably return to.
Good and bad events may move you from this set point for a while, but you can't permanently raise or lower your in-born happiness level - or so the theory goes.
What is clearer is that, like most things in life, happiness is subjected to the law of diminishing returns - to attain something you wish for does make you happy, but only up to a point. Beyond that, more and more of that thing adds less and less to your happiness.
I have an avocado shake example.
I love the avocado shake at Sanur restaurant. The rich, ambrosiac, green concoction really hits the spot for me.
Whenever I eat there, I'd order two glasses as one isn't enough. The problem is, while the first glass is so satisfying, finishing the second will make me want to puke.
It's a scenario that plays out in so many aspects of my life. Happiness is so hard to come by, yet when I do find it, it either doesn't last long, or it loses its magic after a while, and I'm back to being six on the happiness scale.
Still, one could argue that happiness would be meaningless if you felt happy all the time. How can you understand happiness unless you have lived through unhappiness and can compare the two?
The trick perhaps is to learn to live for the moment and appreciate what you have.
Like me, my niece Michiko is quite the wet blanket. Much of her holiday here was spent lamenting the past or worrying about the future.
She kept moaning about missing her friends, her cousins, her dog, her bed and even the airplane journey here. Or she'd be fretting about how she might not get a window seat on the way back or why her plane doesn't stop in Alaska.
At the airport before she left, she cried big fat tears because she'd miss us. She was a mess.
Josh, on the other hand, is of a more happy-go-lucky nature. He's been known to declare to his mother in the morning, 'This is going to be the greatest day.'
At the airport, while his sister sobbed, he made monkey faces at us and waved goodbye with gusto. He had been happy in Singapore and was now happy to go home.
I look at them and I know who has been born with a higher happiness set point, and who will probably have a happier life ahead.
It is hard to be happy when you are stuck in the past or the future.
It is hard to be happy when you chase after happiness, forgetting that, hey, it could well be right there, staring at you. "

waiting...

waiting for something can get so frustrating....=(

...waiting for someone to send me the pictures to be included into the report...

...waiting for the authorities to issue me my work permit...

...waiting for the results of the interview...

aftermath...

so, the interview's over... it went pretty well from what i've observed, but somehow, somewhere deep inside me, i hope that i won't be offered the job... no job offers = no dilemma = a happy peaceful time for me for the remaining couple of months in denmark...

home sweet home at 2am

stayed up to chat with my dad last night... this was what i saw at 2am in the morning...

coming interview... and my expectations...

was chatting earlier and i was mentioning about the coming job interview, and i realized something... it's not that i don't really want the job (if i am to be offered the job at all), but undertaking this will involve lots of sacrifices on my part as well as my family... dad is getting old, and since my brother is married, there will be no one to accompany him for most of the time...

anyway, let's not talk about this anymore... applied for the position for fun in the first, just wanna see how far i can go in the interviewing stage... so for now, let me approach this round of interview with zero expectations, as usual...

ahahaha~~ these are funnie... STARS WARS from another point of view...

home sweet home

thought this might be pretty... the view from my apartment at around 9pm in the evening...

3th round is coming up!

3rd round!!!!

so that means...(i) 12 hours train journey (ii) 5 separate interviews with 5 different engineers (iii) a long talk with the HR personnel again (iv) no more logical test though =)

2nd round of interview...

yet another 12 hours on the train to and fro from copenhagen... argghhhh, i left the house at 6am and got home at 12 midnight...

yet another logical test (in fact i had to do 2 instead of one, cos apparently there is a large difference between the initial one and the first one i did yesterday... ha~ can't accept that i might have had a "lousy" day during the initial test?)...

yet another interview from the HR dept, but this time it was with the department head... eva is pretty!!

yet, how will this one turn out?

tour de sweden - stockholm

"The capital of Sweden, Stockholm, is one of the world’s most beautiful capitals. Built on 14 islands around one of Europe’s largest and best-preserved mediaeval city centres, the Swedish capital is superbly positioned, with stunning and extremely varied scenery in every direction..."

well, stockholm certainly didn't disappoint and truly lives up to its reputation! for once, i had a travelling partner and it was a surprise that the 2 of us managed to survive despite the ever-increasing "sniping" at each other....=p ~~chami and vincent go to sunny stockholm~~just a sidetrack a little, we made our way to stockholm via hamburg... part of the reasons was that we missed the kebab too much, and also, more importantly, we managed to secure tickets costing only 5 euros one way to stockholm with ryanair... and no introduction is required for hamburg since i had been blogging so much about that place, here's some shots of the rathaus as well as surrounding locations...back to the stockholm, there were so many things to see! the geographical city centre, which is virtually situated on the water in the bay Riddarfjärden, is a major attraction for me...The City Hall (Stadshuset) is one of the best known landmarks in Stockholm and the city’s administrative and representative center. The Blue Hall hosts the world famous Nobel Prize Banquet every year, followed by a ball in the Golden Hall... and forget about graduation dinners!! this way of celebration is wayyyy cooler!! ever seen graduating students packed like sardines in one of the many trucks parading along the streets of stockholm? omannnns, the sight was definitely unforgettable...food! need i say more?what's stockholm without the ocassional outdoor exhibition?The Royal Palace (Kungliga Slottet) is the official residence of His Majesty the King of Sweden. Completed in 1754, it is one of the largest palaces in Europe. Most of the Palace is open to the public, such as the State Apartments, the Royal Armoury and the Treasury...The historic center of Stockholm (Gamla Stan) is renowned for its narrow cobblestone alleys, beautiful houses, boutiques, restaurants and sights...went to the Vasamuseet (the Vasa museum), Nordiska Museet and Gronalunds Tivoli...Saint Jacob's Church (Sankt Jacobs kyrka) is a church in central stockhom, dedicated to apostle Saint James the Greater, patron saint of travellers + the opera house... Riddarholms Kyrkan is the second-oldest structure in Stockholm...the kulturhuset (culture house)...went visit Fjäderholmarnas which is along the archipelago...lastly, we took a train to gothenburg, where we took a couple of comical shots... wanna a drink? what you selling?